[ANPPOM-Lista] I am giving up on my dream to become the Lady Gaga of sociology.

[Camila Zerbinatti]

Nossa! Obrigada por enviar! Muito bom este texto.

2016-01-14 17:58 GMT-02:00 Carlos Palombini <cpalombini em gmail.com>:

> Giving Up On Academic Stardom
> January 14, 2016 <http://sasconfidential.com/2016/01/14/academic-stardom/>
> / SAS Confidential <http://sasconfidential.com/author/sasconfidential/>
>
> *Author: Eric Grollman <https://twitter.com/grollman>*
> *Original: Conditionally Accepted
> <http://conditionallyaccepted.com/2014/09/16/academic-stardom/>*
> ------------------------------
>
> I have bought into the ego-driven status game in academia. Hard. I find
> myself sometimes wondering more about opportunities to advance my
> reputation, status, name, and scholarship than about creating new knowledge
> and empowering disadvantaged communities. Decision-making in my research
> often entails asking what will yield the most publications, in the highest
> status journals with the quickest turnaround in peer-review. I often
> compare my CV to others’, wondering how to achieve what they have that I
> have not, and feeling smug about achieving things that haven’t. Rarely do I
> ask how to become a *better *researcher, but often ask how to become a
> more popular researcher.
>
> I have drunk the Kool-Aid, and it is making me sick. Literally. The
> obsession with becoming an academic rockstar fuels my anxiety. I fixate on
> what is next, ignore the present, and do a horrible job of celebrating past
> achievements and victories. I struggle to accept “acceptable.” I feel
> compelled to exceed expectations; I take pride when I do. “Wow, only six
> years in grad school?” “Two publications in your first year on the tenure
> track?! *And*, you’re at a liberal arts college?”
>
> When did I become this way? Sure, academia is not totally to blame. My
> parents expected me to surpass them in education (they have master’s
> degrees!). I also suffer, as many gay men do, with the desire to excel to
> gain family approval
> <http://conditionallyaccepted.com/2013/06/14/homophobia-overcompensation/>,
> which is partially lost upon coming out. Excelling in college, rather than
> becoming an HIV-positive drug addict
> <http://conditionallyaccepted.com/2014/09/02/lgbtq-sociology/>, helped my
> parents to accept my queer identity
> <http://egrollman.com/2010/03/22/coming-out-2/>. In general, I compensate
> professionally and socially for my publicly known sexual orientation. It is
> hard to unlearn the fear one will not be loved or accepted, especially when
> homophobes remind you that fear is a matter of survival
> <http://egrollman.com/2014/07/14/fear-sexuality/>.
>
> Oh, but academia. You turned this achievement-oriented boy into an anxious
> wreck of a man. It is not simply a bonus to be an academic rockstar of
> sorts. My job security actually depends on it. And, it was necessary to be
> exceptional to even get this job
> <http://conditionallyaccepted.com/2013/08/06/chose-slac/>. And, it
> matters in other ways that indirectly affect my job security, and my status
> in general. You can forget being elected into leadership positions in your
> discipline if no one knows you. “Who?” eyes say as they read your name tag
> at conferences before averting their gaze to avoid interacting. I have
> learned from my critics that one must be an established scholar before you
> can advocate for change in academia.
> The Consequences Of Striving For Academic Stardom
>
> I am giving up on my dream to become the Lady Gaga of sociology. I have to
> do so for my health. I have to stop comparing myself to other scholars
> because so many things vary, making it nearly impossible to find a truly
> fair comparison. Of course, I will never become the publication powerhouse
> of an Ivy League man professor whose wife is a homemaker. Even with that
> example, I simply do not know enough about another person’s life, goals,
> and values to make a comparison. I do not want others to compare themselves
> to me because my level of productivity also entails Generalized Anxiety
> Disorder. I am not a good model, either!
>
> Dreams of academic stardom prevent me from appreciating my present
> circumstances <http://conditionallyaccepted.com/2014/08/26/oneyearlater/>,
> which were not handed to me. Sadly, voices, which sound awfully similar to
> my dissertation committees’, have repeatedly asked, “are you *surrreeee *you
> don’t want to be at an R1?” I have zero interest in leaving, and negative
> interest (if that is possible) in enduring the job market again. But, I
> fear that, as I was warned, I will become professionally irrelevant; and,
> this has made it difficult to fully appreciate where I am. I have
> acknowledged the reality that no place will be perfect for an outspoken
> <http://conditionallyaccepted.com/2014/02/04/blogging-for-a-change/> gay
> Black intellectual activist. But, I have found a great place that holds
> promise for even better.
>
> Beyond my health, the lure of academic stardom detracts from what is most
> important to me: making a difference in the world. Impact factors, citation
> rates, and the number of publications that I amass distract from impact in
> the world and accessibility. It is incredibly selfish, or at least
> self-serving, to focus more energy on advancing my own career rather than
> advancing my own communities.
>
> Obsession with academic rockstardom forced me to view colleagues in my
> field as competition. My goal is to demonstrate what I do is *better *than
> them in my research. In doing so, I fail to see how we can collaborate
> directly on projects, or at least as a chorus of voices on a particular
> social problem. Yet, in reality, no individual’s work can make a difference
> alone. I also fail to appreciate the great things my colleagues accomplish
> when I view it only through jealous eyes.
>
> When I die, I do not want one of my regrets
> <http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/03/top-5-regrets-of-the-dying_n_3640593.html>
> to be that I worked too hard, or did not live authentically, or did not
> prioritize my health and happiness as much as I did my job.  Ok, end of
> rant.
> --
> carlos palombini, ph.d. (dunelm)
> professor de musicologia ufmg
> professor colaborador ppgm-unirio
>
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